We’ve never really been taught about how our cycles shift and adapt every single month. So when something feels off, or confusing, or just not quite right, we do what any of us do. We go to Google.
If Google isn’t quite giving you what you need, here are a few more ways to think about the burning questions you have at 11pm.
1. Why do I feel like a different person every week?
Because you’ve been told that one version of you is the “real” one.
The confident, social, energised version of you that shows up around ovulation (inner summer) is often the one the world rewards. So you’ve decided that’s who you really are, and the other three weeks are just… interruptions.
But you’re not one version of yourself. You’re four. And every single one of them has something to offer.
The dreamy, ideas-filled version of you in your post-period phase (inner spring). The clear, confident version around ovulation (inner summer). The discerning, intuitive version in your pre-menstrual phase (inner autumn). The deep, restful version during your bleed (inner winter).
When you stop chasing the summer version of yourself for the whole month and start honouring all four phases, something really beautiful happens. You stop feeling like you only get to be yourself sometimes.
2. Is something wrong with my hormones?
Here’s what’s worth knowing first: your hormones shift every function in your body. Your nervous system. The way you breathe. Your sleep. Your mood. Your energy. So yes you should feel a change across your cycle. That’s not a malfunction. That’s your body working exactly as it’s designed to.
The harder truth is that culturally, that shift isn’t accepted. Because the other half of the population cycles daily, not over a month. So the standard for how a person is supposed to show up consistent, reliable, the same every day was never built with your cycle in mind.
(A note: what I’m describing here is based on an archetypal cycle. Your experience may look and feel completely different, and that’s not only normal it’s expected.)
So it may not be that something is wrong with your hormones. It may be that your hormones are doing exactly what they should, and nobody ever told you.
That said I’m a breath and cycle coach, not a medical professional. If something genuinely doesn’t feel right, please go there first. And my biggest suggestion when you do? Track your changes for a while before your appointment. Write down what you notice, when you notice it, across your cycle. Having that evidence means you can advocate for yourself clearly, and that matters.
3. Why do I feel so overwhelmed every month?
Because overwhelm shows up in more than one way. And just noticing it is helpful but what you actually need is guided by the phase before.
After your bleed, when your energy starts to rise, it can feel like going from zero to a hundred overnight. A rush of ideas, wanting to start everything, feeling buzzy and restless. If you come out of your period rest and go straight to a hundred miles an hour, it’s going to feel like too much. I know this because I’ve done it so many times. I’m still learning this too that rising energy needs easing into, not leaping into.
Then there’s the overwhelm that comes in autumn, in the week or so before your bleed (pre-menstrual phase). This one feels completely different. Your tolerance is at zero. You’ve spent weeks being creative, exploring, playing around with things and now you just want it finished. That room tidied. That project done. That thing sorted. There’s a strong, driven energy here that wants to complete things. But when there’s a lot to do and a noisy inner critic alongside it, that can feel like way too much.
And here’s something nobody talks about: in autumn your breath can get harder and faster without you even noticing. Shorter, more shallow, more effortful. And that alone can add to the feeling of overwhelm. Your nervous system is already more sensitive in this phase, and your breath is reflecting that. Slowing your breath down in autumn is one of the most powerful things you can do to take the edge off.
Once you know which phase you’re in, the overwhelm stops being mysterious. It becomes information. And you can meet it with what it actually needs rather than pushing through or shutting down.
4. Why am I so tired no matter how much I sleep?
Because rest isn’t only about sleep. And your cycle has actually been preparing you for it.
Your inner autumn (pre-menstrual phase) is already asking you to slow down. Your energy starts to turn inward, your body is quietly winding down, getting ready. It’s a natural signal to start doing less, not more. But most women push through this phase, fighting the slowdown so by the time their bleed arrives, they’re running on empty.
Your inner winter (your period / bleed) is when your body needs real rest. Not just sleep. The kind of rest that involves slowing right down, doing less, giving yourself permission to be quiet and still. Your body is doing a huge amount of work during your bleed. It needs you to honour that.
If you’re forcing yourself to maintain the same pace every single day of your cycle, no amount of sleep is going to fix the exhaustion. Because what you’re tired of isn’t just being awake. You’re tired of pushing through.
Your autumn has been trying to guide you toward rest. Your winter has been asking you to take it. You just haven’t been given permission.
5. Why do I want to cancel everything and be alone?
Because that urge is a real, it’s built into your cyclical nature.
In the days before and during your bleed (pre-menstrual phase and period), your body wants you to turn inward. To rest. To stop performing. To be quiet. That’s why the idea of cancelling plans and disappearing into a cosy hut in the woods sounds so appealing your body is literally asking for that.
When you understand it’s coming, you can plan for it. You can give yourself the space you need without the guilt. You can say “I need this week to be quiet” without feeling like you’re letting anyone down.
The urge to be alone isn’t antisocial. It’s wisdom.
So what now?
If you’ve read this and felt seen, really seen, that’s the first step. The second is learning to actually work with your cycle instead of just understanding it intellectually.
That’s exactly what I do with women inside Breathe With Your Cycle, my 8-week online programme. We explore your inner seasons, learn how your breath shifts through each phase, and build a real understanding of your own rhythm. Not someone else’s. Yours.
At the time of writing the doors are closed, but that doesn’t mean they always will be. Head to the link below to find out more and if we’re not open right now, you can add your name to the waiting list and I’ll let you know the moment the next round opens.
In the meantime, follow me over on Instagram where I share daily content about cycle awareness and breath, exactly the kind of stuff you’ve been hoping to find at 11pm.
